We named our party play list daddy issues
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Randomize
