Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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