I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize