so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
