I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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