ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize