I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
