Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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