yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
