She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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