Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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