R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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