But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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