I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
