I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
