I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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