How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
