Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize