I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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