She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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