That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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