why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
