they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
