is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
