I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
