Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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