pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
