Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize