left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize