Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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