i barfeds in our rink
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
