is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
