So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
