OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize