I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dignity is for republicans.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
