his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
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I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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