so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
