Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
