Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
