I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
