Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
