Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
