Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
