I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
