Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
