I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
