just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
