if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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