We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
