My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
