he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
