well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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