She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
