Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
