i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Where did you get a picture of my penis
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
