Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
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Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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