Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize