her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
