worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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