He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
