suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
