Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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